Love & Running
Being a runner can help you score a date, find a mate, even survive heartbreak. Here´s how to navigate the road to romance.
WED TO RUNNING
Committed to the sport--and to each other
Andy Chan, 37 + Malinda Walker, 38
San Francisco
ANDY "We organized a race one week after we got married, on July 14. A graphic designer friend made the logo for our bib numbers: I´m down on one knee in front of Malinda, who is standing with her running shoe on my raised knee, and I´m "tying the knot," which is what we named our run/walk. Our prizes were trophies we´d decorated with top hats and veils. Eighty-three runners and 20 walkers participated, and we´realp nning an anniversary run."
What works for us "Running can be a shared experience even if you´re different speeds. After we run separately, we meet up, so it still feels like a joint activity."
Christian Hicks, 33 + Deena Johnson Hicks, 28
Washington, D.C.
CHRISTIAN "Our first date was an after-work run. Perhaps it was the eight marathons and half-Ironman she´d completed, but I was smitten. After a few months, we ran a trail race in Great Falls National Park--I did the ultra, Deena did the half-marathon. After the race, I got down on one knee. got down on one knee. Thinking I was delirious from the heat, Deena knelt down too, asking, "Are you okay?" Then I pulled the ring from my running shorts. We were married on October 20, 2007, which was the only weekend that month when ne of us wasn´t racing."
What works for us "Even if you prefer to run separately, make time to run together sometimes. Running lowers your barriers and puts you in your comfort zone, which allows you to say things you wouldn´t necessarily share otherwise."
David Stout, 53 + Vicki Schwent Stout, 51
Bainbridge Island, Washington
DAVID "I met Vicki at the 2003 Kansas City Half-Marathon. We ran together while we dated, and in 2006 we got engaged. On a whim, we decided to enter the Las Vegas Marathon and get married at mile five. We kept it top secret, since our families expected a formal wedding--something we figured we´d do eventually. Three months later, the March 2007 Runner´s World came out. There we were, on page 19--a two-page photo of out "secret" wedding for millions to see. We had an awkward conversation with our families. But the publicity was special; it captured our first moments of wedded bliss."
What works for us "Pick some races that you´ll run individually, making performance your priority, and pick others that you´ll run together, just for fun. Sharing the experience is the goal for about 70 percent of the races we do."
Prerace Warmup
Does sex before competition hurt your running?
Not tonight honey, I´m racing tomorrow. It´s an ancient excuse--literally--dating back to Ikkos of Tarentum, who swore off sex for months leading up to the Olympic Games of 44 B.C. (On the upside, Ikkos won the Pentathlon.)
Hot to Trot
How running heightens sexual attraction
"The physical energy and mental well-being you experience from running make you more likely to feel sexual," says Helen Fisher, PhD, a Rutgers University anthropologist specializing in sexuality. But feeling good about yourself isn´t the only reason that running can be a turn-on. It also drives up dopamine, a pleasure-triggering chemical that elevates testosterone, the hormone of desire. The novelty of running with someone new may raise those hormone levels even further. Of course, running also reveals your assets and puts others´ on display. "You see, hear, and smell the other person," Fisher says. "You observe personality traits, such as persistence, grace, and stamina. In the world of courtship, running is like the peacock displaying his tail."
Sex in the Cities
Running clubs give singles an alternative to the bar scene
"The New York Road Runners is the best place in the world for people to meet," says Mary Wittenberg, the President and CEO of this 46,000-member club. "Our races and training runs have a fun, collegial atmosphere that makes it easy to walk up and talk to people. The odds are good that you´ll meet someone who shares your interests." The 100-plus-member Atlanta Singles Running Organization is more explicit about its matchmaking focus: You must be single to join the club, but if you get hitched, you´re welcome to stay. "It´s not a date-seeking frenzy," says Tina Zingo, who met her husband through the club in 2005. "If you´re new in the area, it´s a great way to make friends." The same is true for the San Francisco FrontRunners. Not all members seek romance--some runners join this all-gay group for the comfort and camaraderie that come from knowing everyone´s orientation. But Chuck Louden, vice president of the club, says that singles loo
king to mingle generally join the group in the spring, when turnout for training runs surges from 100 to 200 runners.
Sweat Etiquette
Impress the shorts off any runner
Dinner and a movie is one thing--but a running date has its own rules. Nancy Pina, a Houston relationship expert and runner, provides some ground rules.
DO dress comfortably. Just as you wouldn´t wear brand-new clothes on race day, you should stick to apparel and shoes that you know fit you well and won´t ride up or cause chafing or blisters. Also, Pina recommends keeping it simple and modest--don´t run shirtless or in just a sports bra.
DON´T sweat perspiration. Runners understand that it´s part of the deal. "Worrying about whether you´re sweating too much might be misinterpreted as displeasure with your date, so relax," Pina advises. Stash scented baby wipes in your car or gym bag so you can freshen up before heading for a postrun coffee.
DO wear deodorant--but skip the colognes and perfumes. Warm skin and perspiration can amplify scents, which could overpower your date.
DON´T brag about PRs and running conquests, which can make you seem arrogant. Share one thing you´re proud of, but don´t let your achievements monopolize the conversation.
DON´T spit or blow snot--even if that´s customary among your training buddies. You should control whatever bodily functions you can. It´s tough to recover from hitting your date with a loogie (even if it was accidental).
DON´T insist on making eye contact while running, since anything more than a quick glance could cause you to stumble or fall.
DO take it easy. A running date isn´t a race. Aim for a relaxed pace that lets both of you chat comfortably, which may require the faster runner to rein it in.
DON´T discuss past relationships or share anything too personal. Runners sometimes spill intimate details once their endorphins start flowing, but you need to hold back. Chat instead about your passions and interests. "Sharing what inspires or motivates you is attractive to others," Pina says.
High-Speed Hookup
Log on to find a fit match
Some 20,000 hopefuls have posted their profiles on runningsingles.com, an online dating site founded in 2003 that caters to runners. "People who run 50 miles a week want to be with someone who understands that they need to get in those miles," says CEO Brad Armstrong.
Chase a Mate
Catch her (if you can)
Skirt-clad women get a three-minute head start at SkirtChaser 5-Ks, a race series that pokes fun a gender stereotypes by pitting "skirts" against "skirtchasers." The cheeky battle of the sexes starts in the evening and is followed with a happy hour-style block party with beer, pizza, music, dancing, and dating games. "Most women think it´s empowering--running in a skirt makes you feel sexy, and getting to the line up first is exciting," says Nicole DeBoom, founder and CEO of SkirtSports, the maker of the original running skirt.
A Perfect Pair
When runners Troy and Kimberly Turner, of Corry, Penn., got married in August 2007, they tied running shoes to the back of their "Just Married" vehicle.
